As I review more movies for the site, you're going to quickly learn that I love just about everything. Well, maybe "love" is too strong a word. I'll watch anything twice and most movies three times. It has to be a really boring(note, I did not say bad)movie for me to feel any sort of ambivalence toward it. Well, my friends, ambivalence is exactly what I felt toward "The Backlot Murders". The plot is a good one, a production company decides to shoot a rock video on the old Hollywood "back lots"(hence the title)before they're torn down. Things start off nicely with some good killings but once we get into the main characters, we're dealt a very bad hand. This group is filled with annoying and/or paper-thin characters who are so interchangeable that we never even figure out their names.

The cast includes "stars" like Charles Fleischer and Priscilla Barnes. It also includes one of my guilty pleasures, Corey Haim. While I'm a bigger fan of Corey Feldman, I definitely have an affinity for the two Corey's. It's sad to see how far this very good actor(if you don't believe me rent Lucas)has fallen. Maybe he thought this would get him back into the movies, but he made an awful choice. The script is wretched, the performances are stilted and the killer is unoriginal. But then again, everything in this movie is unoriginal. Props go out to Haim, Fleischer and Jaime Anstead for rising above the material to at least make me smile a few times. The movie's biggest flaw is that it takes itself much too seriously. They should have made a campy, spoof of slashers, a spoof of Hollywood, anything but a serious study into the mind of a psycho because it just wasn't happening.

As for the genre staples, boobs and blood, The Backlot Murders boasts them both but never have they been so disappointing. The breasts are all fake(and all look like they were done in some back alley by a podiatrist turned plastic surgeon. Whatever happened to real boobies? I miss them dearly. If they ever run out of silicone, blame the "actresses" who make up this cast. The gore is hit or miss. They obviously had a budget but they whimped out on some of the better kills and didn't show as much as they needed to make this a film worth recommending.

If your a fan of fake tits and fog jokes(you'd really have to see the movie to understand)then maybe you'll enjoy The Backlot Murders. Otherwise, spend your money on something else. I hear Corey Haim's selling his teeth on eBay...